I really hate myself..sorry

sorry..
I really hate myself..
Don't know why but I do hate things that happened to me..
There are various reason why I hate myself so much:

1. I can't HATE him!!! suck
2. I can't say NO to him..huh
3. I can't SHARE my feeling with him..arghh
4. I can't LOSE him..mmm
5. I can't LOVE him..wateva!!

God plz help me..

Ragutla segala rasa ini..bawa ia pergi jauh..jauh sehingga hati tak dapat cari walau sedalam mana ia digali..